"Are you some sort of ghostly deity? Are you man in spirit form? Are you a thought that can not be understood until all physical aspects of my humanity have died away? I sense your presence as though you are in the room. I picture you as though I met you long ago and am now left to remember you in my minds eye. I idealize you as a man with all power and knowledge and yet that still limits your character to a dark shadow of your true self. What are you? Incomprehensible."
-Millie Voigtlander
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
Monday, July 15, 2013
The Band
Cambodia (Picture)
This is one of my amazing leaders, Katie. She is holding a baby who's family was homeless and begging on the streets of Phnom Phen.
LINSIDE
Five weeks, seven people and one motor home.
This past April and May I took up the chance to go on a Worship Arts Tour that YWAM Montana would be sending out to revitalize an old ministry that had died down years ago. This adventure took me to the North West part of the States and up into Canada. Five amazing musicians put their talents together to bring anointed worship and awareness of what YWAM has to offer to youth groups, churches, coffee houses, and much more. I was blessed enough to catch wind of the plans that had been made and with God's peace offer myself to accompany the team to do whatever I could to help as well as bathe the ministry in prayer. Luck or what I like to call divine intervention was on my side because they actually not only accepted my desire to be a part of this ministry but welcomed me with arms wide open.
As we embarked on an amazing tour I was placed in-charge of running sound, totally unfamiliar ground to my rather unmusical self, thankfully my team was very patient with me as I learned what the heck I was doing. In the midst of doing something that I am entirely unqualified to do God, once again, met me. In moments of discouragement and inadequacy Jesus came with loving arms to remind me that my identity and usefulness was not in what I could do physically, because I would always fall short in that area but it was in who HE said I was. Jesus sees me as a useful tool in his kingdom not because I am qualified but because I am willing. My heart was eager to serve, to see others come into a sweet relationship with our God through beautiful music lifted in praise to HIS goodness.
As I began to release control of how I wanted to be used God began to ACTUALLY USE ME. I had the opportunity to speak at different youth groups throughout the North West. Every time I was suppose to speak I found myself so nervous knowing that I had nothing to bring to the precious souls I would be speaking to. I knew that nothing I could say would change anything for any of them....I cried out telling God he was going to have to speak because HE was ALL they needed. As I stood in front of big eyes looking back at me I let go of control and said what I felt like God would want them to know about himself. Faithful as ever I began to see God answering my cry for help. It amazed me. Jesus was speaking to young hearts through me. Through ME! How crazy is that. I feel like I have countless stories of God's unending faithfulness throughout this trip, to many to tell.
God provided. He was faithful to every prayer we prayed; no matter how small the prayer, he answered. I was blessed beyond compare to see my team members growing in their giftings and callings. We all had moments that we fell so short and yet we watched in awe as God used those moments for his greatest glory. Our shortcomings became some of our greatest moments of ministry. When we are weak HE is strong.
This past April and May I took up the chance to go on a Worship Arts Tour that YWAM Montana would be sending out to revitalize an old ministry that had died down years ago. This adventure took me to the North West part of the States and up into Canada. Five amazing musicians put their talents together to bring anointed worship and awareness of what YWAM has to offer to youth groups, churches, coffee houses, and much more. I was blessed enough to catch wind of the plans that had been made and with God's peace offer myself to accompany the team to do whatever I could to help as well as bathe the ministry in prayer. Luck or what I like to call divine intervention was on my side because they actually not only accepted my desire to be a part of this ministry but welcomed me with arms wide open.
As we embarked on an amazing tour I was placed in-charge of running sound, totally unfamiliar ground to my rather unmusical self, thankfully my team was very patient with me as I learned what the heck I was doing. In the midst of doing something that I am entirely unqualified to do God, once again, met me. In moments of discouragement and inadequacy Jesus came with loving arms to remind me that my identity and usefulness was not in what I could do physically, because I would always fall short in that area but it was in who HE said I was. Jesus sees me as a useful tool in his kingdom not because I am qualified but because I am willing. My heart was eager to serve, to see others come into a sweet relationship with our God through beautiful music lifted in praise to HIS goodness.
As I began to release control of how I wanted to be used God began to ACTUALLY USE ME. I had the opportunity to speak at different youth groups throughout the North West. Every time I was suppose to speak I found myself so nervous knowing that I had nothing to bring to the precious souls I would be speaking to. I knew that nothing I could say would change anything for any of them....I cried out telling God he was going to have to speak because HE was ALL they needed. As I stood in front of big eyes looking back at me I let go of control and said what I felt like God would want them to know about himself. Faithful as ever I began to see God answering my cry for help. It amazed me. Jesus was speaking to young hearts through me. Through ME! How crazy is that. I feel like I have countless stories of God's unending faithfulness throughout this trip, to many to tell.
God provided. He was faithful to every prayer we prayed; no matter how small the prayer, he answered. I was blessed beyond compare to see my team members growing in their giftings and callings. We all had moments that we fell so short and yet we watched in awe as God used those moments for his greatest glory. Our shortcomings became some of our greatest moments of ministry. When we are weak HE is strong.
Monday, June 10, 2013
Hong (As in Hong Kong)
This is the story of a man I met in Cambodia. I hope it touches you the way it did me.
It was the last night of street ministry my team would do before coming back to the states. It started out like most of a street ministry times. We traveled 30 min. across town in tuk tuk's (google it) to get to the river in Phnom Phen where a large tourist area was. We were walking around waiting for God to highlight someone or tell us to go somewhere. Not much was happening so we stopped to eat dinner at a local restraint. After dinner we crossed the street to go sit on a bench by the river and pray for direction. As we sat down a Cami man waved at us and said, "hello" as he walked past. I was with three of my team mates and in unison with huge grins on our faces we waved and said hello back. The man stopped and turned towards us and began talking about how nice that was of us to smile and say hi. He introduced himself as, "Hong, oh you know like Hong Kong!!"
As he approached us he began to tell us why the four of us girls simply replying to his hello had stopped him in his tracks. Here is what he then explained to us:
During the Khmer Rouge in the 70's he had fled to the United States and had since lived there. After being in the States for thirty-something years he was driving in the mountains when he hit some ice and slid into another car causing it to fall off the mountain. The car he hit had four girls inside (just like us he pointed out). All four of those girls died. Hong was charged with four accounts of involuntary man slaughter and was going to be sentenced to life in prison. Somehow, by God's grace, the Judge told Hong that if he could get Cambodia to welcome him back into the country then the Judge would deport Hong instead of sending him to prison. (There were more details to this but that is the gist of what I remember) Cambodia DID welcome Hong back and the Judge deported him. Hong has now been in Cambodia for a year but has a serious problem... When he fled the country, during the Khmer Rouge, all of his papers proving that he was a Cami citizen were lost. With out papers saying that he is a citizen Hong can not work. It takes three years of living in Cambodia to be able to gain new papers. So he is stuck, with no way of making money and no way to get papers but to wait it out. He is homeless, sleeps under Buddhist temple pagodas, and tries to get 5 dollars a day begging so that he can feed himself. After Hong completed his story we told him that we were Christians and if he would allow us we would love to pray for him. He looked at us and began to tell us that when he went to America he was Buddhist but got saved and was very involved in church until the accident. He said that since he had been in Cambodia he had forgotten about God and that no one had prayed for him in a year. He then said, yes, and allowed us to begin praying for him.
As we were praying for Hong tears began to roll down his cheeks. We began to feel as though the Lord was giving us specific things to pray for such as lost family and bad dreams of the accident. When we asked Hong if he needed prayer for those things he began to cry more and explained the horrible dreams he had been having and the sleep he had lost over flashbacks of the crash. He also told us that he lost all of his family when he went to America and had no idea if they were even still alive. We began to pray. This happened a couple more times; we would sense there was something particular we were suppose to pray for and then Hong would confirm what we were feeling with some heart aching stories. Every time we prayed Hong would begin to cry more and more until the last time we prayed. As we said amen Hong lifted his head to look at us and proceeded to say, "I am sorry, I didn't really hear that last prayer because I was walking with Jesus." He then stood up thanked us repeatedly and asked if he could return the favor by praying for us. This poor broken homeless man began to pray a prayer I will never forget. I can't recall the words and maybe never will but I have never heard such a simple heartfelt prayer from a man who had just met his savor once again.
Hong walked up to us a hurt hopeless man. He walked away filled with a joy and security that only Jesus brings. This story impacts me every time I think back to it, yes because of what God did in Hong's life, but also because of the promise God kept to me. All through my time in Cambodia God did exactly what he told me he would do on the buss to Battambang. (reference to"Cambodia" post) GOD did work in Hong. JESUS transformed and comforted Hong in a way that my words, money, or actions could never do. We did not even seek this man out. God brought him to us. God was so faithful to drop divine appointments in my lap; He was faithful to the last day and continues to be faithful in his promise. He is the savior of the world and loves his children.
Cambodia
Two months in Asia.
Part of my Discipleship Training School was a two month cross-cultural outreach. For my outreach location I went to Cambodia. These are some facts to help you see into the type of country this is. Cambodia is a third-world nation located in South East Asia right between Thailand and Vitenam. In the 1970's there was a genocide where all the educated people in Cambodia were killed by a group called the Khmer Rouge. (for more information on the Khmer Rouge visit http://www.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,1879785,00.html ) Today you can still see evidence of this devastation simply by looking at the older generation, or the lack of. Eighty percent of the population in Cambodia is under the age of 30 due to the killings. The education system was obliterated because all educated people were killed in the genocide. Due to the Khmer Rouge corruption runs rampant in the government and education system. This corruption along with Cambodia being mostly Buddhist plays a huge role in the hopelessness of this country.
As I arrived in Cambodia the hopelessness I had been reading about hit me full force. After hours of traveling our flight finally arrived in the city of Phnom Phen at midnight. As we drove through the dark streets to get to our hotel I became very aware of one of Cambodia's main attractions: sex tourism. Prostitution seamed to be on every other street corner as we weaved our way through the city. The next day our team took an eight hour buss drive to Battambang where we would be spending the first three weeks of our trip. As we drove my heart began to ache even more as I saw the tin shacks and stilted wooden sheds that the people called home. I became so aware of peoples hopelessness; I could see it on the faces of everyone from small children helping to bring in the rice harvest to grandparents sleeping in hammocks. It was to much to bare and I began to cry out to God.
How was little me suppose to do anything to help anyone in this country with pain everywhere I looked. I was helplessly aware of my inferiority to do anything. I was frustrated because all I wanted was to tell each one of them that there was hope in Jesus, there was a God that loved them. But I knew that was impossible. I felt like the responsibility to tell them was mine. As I lifted the people up in prayer, out of lack of anything else to do, God met me. He came and reminded me that HIS love for the people was far beyond anything that I could even imagine. He reminded me that He had them in the palm of his hand and that I was to do nothing but what He called me to.
Saving people is not my job, I am not the messiah but the messenger. As Jesus spoke truth about these people and his care for them, my frustration melted into hope. Jesus is capable of speaking to people that I can not reach, Jesus' love has no bounds, His mercy is with everyone if they accept it. I realized in that moment that God loves Cambodia. I had known it in my head but once again, God miraculously let this truth sink deep into my heart. I knew that anything that happened from that moment on would be because of Jesus working in hearts and not because anything I could do. I felt like God humbled me and comforted me by reminding me of how big He is and that He was already in Cambodia long before my team went there. It was my opportunity to simply partner with what God was already doing there. Jesus is totally capable of bringing people into his loving arms without using me; what amazed me is that He loves me enough that He wants me to be able to be a part of what He is doing in the lives of His other children.
Part of my Discipleship Training School was a two month cross-cultural outreach. For my outreach location I went to Cambodia. These are some facts to help you see into the type of country this is. Cambodia is a third-world nation located in South East Asia right between Thailand and Vitenam. In the 1970's there was a genocide where all the educated people in Cambodia were killed by a group called the Khmer Rouge. (for more information on the Khmer Rouge visit http://www.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,1879785,00.html ) Today you can still see evidence of this devastation simply by looking at the older generation, or the lack of. Eighty percent of the population in Cambodia is under the age of 30 due to the killings. The education system was obliterated because all educated people were killed in the genocide. Due to the Khmer Rouge corruption runs rampant in the government and education system. This corruption along with Cambodia being mostly Buddhist plays a huge role in the hopelessness of this country.
As I arrived in Cambodia the hopelessness I had been reading about hit me full force. After hours of traveling our flight finally arrived in the city of Phnom Phen at midnight. As we drove through the dark streets to get to our hotel I became very aware of one of Cambodia's main attractions: sex tourism. Prostitution seamed to be on every other street corner as we weaved our way through the city. The next day our team took an eight hour buss drive to Battambang where we would be spending the first three weeks of our trip. As we drove my heart began to ache even more as I saw the tin shacks and stilted wooden sheds that the people called home. I became so aware of peoples hopelessness; I could see it on the faces of everyone from small children helping to bring in the rice harvest to grandparents sleeping in hammocks. It was to much to bare and I began to cry out to God.
How was little me suppose to do anything to help anyone in this country with pain everywhere I looked. I was helplessly aware of my inferiority to do anything. I was frustrated because all I wanted was to tell each one of them that there was hope in Jesus, there was a God that loved them. But I knew that was impossible. I felt like the responsibility to tell them was mine. As I lifted the people up in prayer, out of lack of anything else to do, God met me. He came and reminded me that HIS love for the people was far beyond anything that I could even imagine. He reminded me that He had them in the palm of his hand and that I was to do nothing but what He called me to.
Saving people is not my job, I am not the messiah but the messenger. As Jesus spoke truth about these people and his care for them, my frustration melted into hope. Jesus is capable of speaking to people that I can not reach, Jesus' love has no bounds, His mercy is with everyone if they accept it. I realized in that moment that God loves Cambodia. I had known it in my head but once again, God miraculously let this truth sink deep into my heart. I knew that anything that happened from that moment on would be because of Jesus working in hearts and not because anything I could do. I felt like God humbled me and comforted me by reminding me of how big He is and that He was already in Cambodia long before my team went there. It was my opportunity to simply partner with what God was already doing there. Jesus is totally capable of bringing people into his loving arms without using me; what amazed me is that He loves me enough that He wants me to be able to be a part of what He is doing in the lives of His other children.
Friday, May 31, 2013
The Nations
I love the world. I have always loved the world.
Growing up I would pray that someday I would be able to travel the globe and see all the vastness of creation and the people who lived there. Different cultures fascinated me and I had no idea why, but God knew and was just waiting to reveal it to me.
Two summers ago I had the opportunity to go to England with one of my best friends and my love for travel, instead of being fulfilled for the moment, grew even more. I was hooked. I wanted to see and experience more of this big earth. When I first found out about DTS I was ecstatic over the idea of the two month cross-cultural outreach at the end of the school. I couldn't think of anything better than a school that taught about God but also allowed me to travel!
During the three months of lecture in DTS I began to realize a few things about who God had created me to be. I realized why I love the nations so much; because God loves the nations. God began to open my eyes to see how he sees culture and the people of this earth. He doesn't s see some of them as lesser and some of them as his beloved. He doesn't get get caught up in what countries are free and what countries are not. He sees his people and loves them and desires for them to come to him. My heart for the nations had been very selfish. I wanted to travel because I wanted to see the world because I wanted adventure because I...I...I. What I began to see though was that God had given me a heart for his people and if I chose to look at the world through Jesus colored glasses then my impact on the nations could be for his glory. I never thought I would be a missionary, that was for other people, but God has begun to give me a burning passion to see the lost saved, the saved revived and the nations singing praise to their creator. I do not yet know what the future holds for me but I know that wherever Jesus calls me I want to reply yes.
Growing up I would pray that someday I would be able to travel the globe and see all the vastness of creation and the people who lived there. Different cultures fascinated me and I had no idea why, but God knew and was just waiting to reveal it to me.
Two summers ago I had the opportunity to go to England with one of my best friends and my love for travel, instead of being fulfilled for the moment, grew even more. I was hooked. I wanted to see and experience more of this big earth. When I first found out about DTS I was ecstatic over the idea of the two month cross-cultural outreach at the end of the school. I couldn't think of anything better than a school that taught about God but also allowed me to travel!
During the three months of lecture in DTS I began to realize a few things about who God had created me to be. I realized why I love the nations so much; because God loves the nations. God began to open my eyes to see how he sees culture and the people of this earth. He doesn't s see some of them as lesser and some of them as his beloved. He doesn't get get caught up in what countries are free and what countries are not. He sees his people and loves them and desires for them to come to him. My heart for the nations had been very selfish. I wanted to travel because I wanted to see the world because I wanted adventure because I...I...I. What I began to see though was that God had given me a heart for his people and if I chose to look at the world through Jesus colored glasses then my impact on the nations could be for his glory. I never thought I would be a missionary, that was for other people, but God has begun to give me a burning passion to see the lost saved, the saved revived and the nations singing praise to their creator. I do not yet know what the future holds for me but I know that wherever Jesus calls me I want to reply yes.
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