The Begining

The past eight months of my life have been full of adventures and challenges with God. These next articles are glimpses into what God is doing in my life and the things I feel he has called me to. I hope the Lord speaks to you through what I have been learning as I try to Discover Eden.

As I sat down to do my devotions this morning I realized how much my heart has changed. I feel as though God had been tapping me on the shoulder my whole life and I finally decided to turn around, look him in the eye, and see what he truly had to offer me. God has been molding me, meshing me, breaking me, and building me into the masterpiece he designed me to be; as I let go trying to control my own life and took the hand of Jesus I entered into the adventure of a life time.

Last September I decided to take a year off school and spend five months doing a Discipleship Training School (DTS) through Youth With A Mission (YWAM). Although not much has changed on the outside, God did a huge work in my heart. I walked out of religion and into a relationship with my Father in Heaven. I realized that for so many years I had crippled my relationship with Jesus by allowing unbelief and doubts of His love for me creep into my life without even knowing it. I knew so many truths about God and could teach them pretty well but I had never truly accepted them for myself. Things like God’s unfailing love and forgiveness were truths I lived by and believed in fully…for others, but had put myself in a category that was labeled as the exception. I was the exception; God had mercy and forgiveness for others short comings but not for mine. I had never accepted Jesus’ forgiveness; I had to be good enough for him to love me because there was a serious disconnect between my head and my heart. I knew he forgave me but my heart didn’t accept that as truth; I carried my burdens around like dirty garbage. When I finally turned around and looked at Jesus I didn’t find a far off God waiting to show me all the places I fell short in being righteous. Instead, I found a loving father who only wanted to scoop me up in his arms and speak life into my inmost being. 

I grew up loving God, I grew up a good Christian girl, I grew up with parents who loved God, I grew up going to church and participating in bible studies and yet none of that had captured my heart the way simply meeting Jesus had. I walked into my DTS hungry for God and I ran out starving for Him.